I have no idea what it is with people and the fascination about rumors.  If you go and question people about their rumor mongering the response usually falls into the following categories: 1) well it is fun, 2) as long as the other person does not know I am talking about them it is okay, 3) well subject X deserves it, and 4) it teaches people not to do action X,Y,Z.  Ask those same people about others gossiping about them, the reaction is the complete opposite – usually a mix of anger, feeling of victimization, and “why are they talking about me.”

While I do love the internet for its information sharing and the humor of misinformation sharing, I strongly draw the line at violence, damage to reputation (monetary damages), and out right idiocy.  Hopefully, the recent legal actions back home will change the misinformation spreading.  See the articles previously posted about the Erin Andrews and Hulk Hogan cases.

Hulk Hogan awarded further damages in Gawker sex tape case – http://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-35868127

Do we really need to wait until someone dies or loses millions of dollars to stop people from doing bad things?  Seriously, you would not use the internet to tell someone off if you had the guts and the notion you were actually in the right.  See the following articles from the past weeks.  Sorry behind.

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While the teachers in Britain are apparently fearing for their students safety as the youngest victim is 7 and the average is between 13-16, they are also in fear of their own safety.  See the quoted section below as well as the full article.

Teachers fear for pupils’ safety on social media – http://www.bbc.com/news/education-35881350

Teachers’ reported online abuse by parents

“Parent got child to take a photograph of me whilst teaching.

“I used to teach the parent many years ago.

“The parent then posted the picture along with derogatory comments, ‘I can’t believe he is still teaching.

“She made comments about my capabilities, made up lies about the state of the pupils in my class, she discussed with her friends and husband about knocking me out, her friends called me abusive names and added to the threats of violence.”

“Told daughter off at school, mum put on Facebook that she was going to come to school to punch me.”

“Parent threatened to come in and ‘sort that bitch out’.”

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The Slenderman case is back in the news as the girls who stabbed their “friend” 17 times are in a new documentary.  The girls’ lawyers are now trying to avoid prosecution in ciminal court as an adult.  The parents have no idea why the girls decided to follow a fictional online character and join the “Slenderman cult.”  Sociologists have stated that had the children had more personal contact with real people versus internet websites, they might not have tried to stab their friend to death.

Slenderman director on the ‘faceless’ character’s fascination – http://www.bbc.co.uk/newsbeat/article/35816715/slenderman-director-on-the-faceless-characters-fascination

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For those of you who are in China and understand the viciousness that is within the gossip circles here and the insistence that the most vocal is always right – see the previous post about a man who insisted on commenting on the lack of a woman’s period and her barenness to three other women at dinner, this is a classic.

A woman on a flight from Britain to Beijing was allegedly exposed to racially upsetting words by another passenger.  While this is defintely wrong on the passenger’s part, I am not sure how this is the fault of Virgin Atlantic?  Boycotting an airline company because of another passenger’s bad behavior is silly because the airline cannot control his actions – at most they could move the man.  Also, there are so many racist and sterotypical comments thrown at foreigners in China that you would think the reactions by netzins are extreme.  See comments about boycotting Virgin and comments above.

If it is true that the Virgin Flight attendant participated in the passanger’s bad behavior, he should be fired.  You cannot encourage bad behavior on a flight of all things – no place to hold a rowdy passenger who wants to fight.

Virgin Atlantic Probes ‘Racial Abuse’ of Chinese Woman on Flight – http://mp.weixin.qq.com/s?__biz=MzA3OTgwOTczMQ==&mid=438587540&idx=2&sn=8833668d5fdb88e565dfb1a4d3150bd2&scene=5&srcid=0319eybKHfsBKR9HNnlFli4Y#rd

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Lovely to see that we have new ways to harrass people on the internet – sarcasm people.  Man claims that he was only creating banter – how is calling someone a slut, whore, and being sexually promiscuous banter?  For those who don’t know, the definition of banter is the following:

http://www.dictionary.com/browse/banter?s=t

See the article below and the youtube video link and its comments.  Saddest thing of all, this guy might actually be a total stranger.

YouTuber says she is the victim of a ‘baiting out’ video – http://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-london-35828073

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Current Mood:  Disappointed in humanity.  These issues with the internet and their resulting legal actions and/or legislation have occurred within a period of 10 days 🙁

While I do agree that in general, a man of the same height, weight, and stature can outrun and outlift a woman due to biological differences, I am very happy that the U.S. military and command structure, is now enlightened enough to realize that women and men in combat have the same intellectual capabilities. 😀

Lori Robinson nominated as first US female combatant chief – http://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-35845226

I loved Politically Incorrect when it was on.  The comedian from that show now has a new one called Real Time With Bill Maher (?) – not sure if I spelled his name right.  Anyhow, there are many expats who like to rag on the fact that Americans have a seemingly unquenchable self esteem.  Bill Maher showed a clip on his show of an advertisement from before my time illustrating how everyone is equally important.

Now most people either find me nice, intelligent, compassionate, and passionate OR they find me intimidating, arrogant, and uncaring.  How to account for the bipolar verdicts?  I really think that it comes down to self-esteem.  While I do not feel that you should hand out awards to every child on the field for participating or tell everyone that they are wonderful just the way they, you do need to instill some sort of self esteem into your child.

Most of my friends who do love me will say that my attitude is due to a healthy self-esteem followed by wanting to accomplish things.  While they do find my lack of attention to surroundings and sometimes other people’s feelings irritating, we have very logical and factually based conversations which I find stimulating for work and play.

People who have no idea what I am about and who are extremely emotional will never get along with me.  I just do not feel strongly about things that have nothing to do with me and prefer to just problem solve.  Also, for the most part, I do not engage in speculation about people or things that do not directly effect me which makes me a very boring conversationalist when coupled with the fact that I do not watch enough television and movies.

Basically, I lack pop culture and cannot get along with people who lack substance.  There are only so many jokes you can crack and so many facts that you can spew before it becomes all the same.  This leaves me two choices, either leave the situation entirely or start an argument so that you go away when I cannot figure out a nice way to tell you to stay away.

So upon self reflection, maybe it is true that I am scary and intimidating and I do need to find a better solution.  I am very bad at pretending so I am not going to survive faking and lying through my teeth.  I did meet a girl who was very good at hiding her emotions without being dis-ingenuine but I have no idea how she does it and asking her would probably be insulting.

Current Mood: Trying to find the correct social balance.  Really hard.  Dinner was eye opening.  Had a How I Met Your Mother moment with glass shattering a few weeks ago but dinner tonight just reaffirmed my first impression and everything that happened since.

Now I do not know how authenticated and verified some of these articles from We Chat are.  However, I jokingly told my friend about two years ago during a screening of the Lorax Movie that this is what they should do in China.  Told my friend that if they bottled up the air from the countryside and sent it off to Beijing that they would make a killing because people were already into air purifiers when I left China in 2009.

If the stories in Guang Dong are true this is a pretty big deal.  They literally took the idea from the evil villan in the Lorax.  Bad thing is that they are using plastic bags which will increase the pollution and garbage load as one smart We Chat commentor pointed out already but those people are making a killing – 30 yuan for a big bag and 10 yuan for a small one?

Yellow Alert Issued as Heavy Pollution Chokes Several Cities – http://mp.weixin.qq.com/s?__biz=MzA3OTgwOTczMQ==&mid=438780823&idx=2&sn=e8ecb31b2328b3fa11f9815dde10cc1a&scene=5&srcid=0320VGz1tN7Ji50xjTuq4JtH#rd

People are now buying clean air in bags – http://mp.weixin.qq.com/s?__biz=MzA3OTgwOTczMQ==&mid=438780823&idx=3&sn=4e542ca502883b674a9302e74ced88e9&scene=5&srcid=0320Xx9DIcxw9iiVtSqLUaAI#rd

Current Mood: Amused 😀

While some people find the issue relating to body image an issue which is overplayed, I believe that it has caused some rather unhealthy behavior in men and women.  In China there is an internet challenge which dares people to take an A4 size paper lengthwise and see if your waistline could be smaller than the 8.5 inches.  Personally, not appetizing to me – I rather eat to my hearts content and be myself.  Yes, joke all you want about my food hoarding and protectionism mechanisms, I am serious about what I want and like to eat.  Deny me what I want to eat and you will get stuck with whatever eating utensil happens to be near by 😀

On the other hand, I am really happy about Shanghai Disney opening up soon and its new mass marketing and monkey making scheme of inclusion.  I love the fact that the new Disney Princess is Latino inspired.

Disney reveals new Princess – she’s the first of Latin descent  – http://www.bbc.co.uk/newsbeat/article/31053428/disney-reveals-new-princess—shes-the-first-of-latin-descent  

I also think that the other article that appeared almost at the same time has everyone imagining themselves as Princesses and applying it to their own lives.  If Disney princesses were Filipina – http://www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-35340371.

Current Mood:  Feeling rather happy at the state of being for women.  Still a man’s world but we are catching up.

One of the things I have started to do every two weeks is commiserate with some of the other expats.  My attempt to fully integrate was causing my eyes to bulge and smoke to come out of my ears.  Mostly because I was tired of being a stereotype and the cultural hypocrisy.

If you ever get into a conversation with someone about politics in China, especially China versus the U.S. you are going to get an earful.  Generally locals will tell you that China is misunderstood and America is wrong.  I don’t have a problem with your opinion on the subject and I may not agree but I certainly will not insist that one way or another is right.  Unfortunately, if you disagree with something someone is saying, somehow people think you are arguing with them.

What I find surprising in China is that many people still see America as a place where we have all banned together to subvert other country’s policies and culture.  I find all of this rather baffling because for the most part, nobody forces American culture on the rest of the world.  People from other countries watch American tv shows, listen to our music, and buy our products. America cannot force its culture and products on anyone, you have to choose to purchase it.  If you don’t want our cultural influences then you can stop buying or watching and/or engaging because I am not putting a gun to your head.

So as usual, this post ties to a taxi conversation.  I really liked my cabbie because he explained lots of things to me in a way that made sense.  We were talking about a variety of issues but one topic was purchasing western goods.  (Side note – I went shopping and bought shoes that were 35% off and still the same price as a full price back home.  I thought this was outrageous as the salaries in China are lower and many of the goods are made in China).  Why should something that is made here be so expensive?  According to the cabbie, western brands can charge whatever they like because of mianzi.  The cabbie was saying that in Chinese culture if you buy something, your neighbor has to buy the same thing or something better.  Everyone is always comparing themselves to each other so really nothing much you can do about that other than not participate.  However, the concept of not being like the others and not participating does not seem like a viable solution here.  I have asked several people who have complained about random things, “If you hate x,y,z, why do you participate?”  I usually get shrugs and sometimes, “Everyone else is doing it.”

Now while I will say, “This is China and oh well this is the Chinese way,” when it comes to locals here, I actually mean it.  What I will not do is force Chinese cultural norms on westerners.

This has become a source of frustration for some of my Chinese friends.  They feel that my attitude towards things are too cut and dry and too logical without considering people’s feelings.  I obviously don’t feel that way but I will agree that some of my delivery needs work.

What I have noticed in China which is very different from back home is the level of cultural and language tolerance.  Obviously, many of us have not grown up in China so we do not speak the language but what you will hear over and over again when you talk to expats about living here is that sometimes the locals know that you don’t speak the language or don’t speak it well so they will 1) ignore you, 2) yell at you, 3) tell you in an irritated voice they don’t understand you, and/or 4) just say, “No.”  Do any of things actually solve the problem or help the situation?  No, but solvency does not always seem valued here.  Most times people seem to hope that the problem or rather you, will go away.  (Obviously, this strategy will never work with me because I am assertive).

Now this is a very big generalization but for the most part this is true from the various states I have been to or lived in.  Generally, when you meet a tourist or a student in the U.S. that does not speak English or does not speak English well, our reaction is totally different.  Usually, we sit there and try to figure out what you want or need.  We mime, we draw, we ask someone else for help, or we tell you politely that we cannot help you but try to find you someone who can.  Most importantly, we try to explain why, how, who, what, when, where, etc.  Personally, I think it is because Americans are a mixed bunch and we have lots of immigrants, so we tend to be more forgiving of language issues and accents.  We do have the occasional asses that will tell you to go home but for the most part that is NOT the norm.

Current Mood:  Trying to figure out how to deal with the hypocrisy without scaring, intimidating, being confrontational, being aggressive, or exhibiting any of the other typical New Yorker traits.  I need to figure out the Chinese translation for the following phrases: 1) “You are entitled to your own opinion,” and 2) “You are not the only one with feelings.  Why are yours more important than mine?”

Are exams really hard for students in Asia? Yep.  The best example I can think of regarding the Chinese exams for the gao kao is the bar exam for lawyers in the U.S.  You have to cram all these facts into your brain that you learned over a period of 3-4 years, remember all the details and then spit them out onto an exam paper, after studying for 2 months.

Now any lawyer worth their salt will tell you that the bar exam is a joke because after all that misery, most bar exams only test those people who can memorize the most.  This is now changing with the addition of MPT which is something you cannot study for but have to write a memo on the bar exam based on materials given to you.  You have to read a “library” which is 10-15 pages long and then you have 45 minutes to give your best lawyerly answer.

My frustration teaching at a Chinese university is that some of the students are amazing and they are not going to get the credit for being a great student because the education system assumes that the school ranking is the most important factor.  We all know that for the most part everyone needs to memorize the basic information and then be able to apply it.  However, nobody who has ever excelled in the business, education, and/or any field has succeeded purely in route memorization – so why are we making college students memorize and regurgitate?

Basically, the need for these top 10 exam rituals while interesting, would be unnecessary if the exams were less like the traditional aspects of the bar exam and more like the MPT.

Top 10 exam rituals from stressed students across Asia – http://www.bbc.com/news/business-35614030

An additional frustration regarding teaching at the college level in China is the rampant amount of cheating and the lack of consequences.  We have students that go to their professors, assistant deans, and deans to ask for grade changes for a variety of reasons including the following:

1. My boyfriend/.girlfriend dumped me so I decided to mope in my room for an entire semester.  I missed all my classes.
2. I never went to class but can I at least be passed?  My parents would be mad at me if I failed.
3. I never went to class because I was drunk.  Your class is always the day after my friends and I party.
4. I stopped going to class because your class is so hard.
5. My friends decided not to go to class  so I decided not to go too.

Now I have only had excuse number 4 but when the other foreign professors get together and share our past experiences, generally the reasons we here are the five listed above.

Now why do I claim that the above excuses lead to cheating?  There are  some professors who actually change their students grades based on the reasons above.  If their parents are wealthy or connected the chances of this occurring is really high closer to “beyond a reasonable doubt” than “”beyond a preponderance.”

I make my exams so that you cannot just buy a watch and cheat using them but dear lord – I am surprised that my university is not full of these watches right about now.  If you have students who never come to class and getting “A”s on their finals after going to whine to whoever they need to whine to and actually get the grade change, no wonder we are promoting bad behavior.

‘Cheating watches’ warning for exams – http://www.bbc.com/news/education-35716523

I use to think that the stories regarding the extreme lengths that people go to cheating in China were exaggerated.  However, after being here for two semesters, I am ready to go home.  Not only do I have arguments with previous students who feel that their grades were too low – I failed people for photocopying a friends homework and writing their names on it – I also have to deal with professors who “feel sorry for the students,” and agree to change the grades.

The problem with changing the grades is that you are rewarding bad behavior and encouraging others to be slackers which then punishes the good students.

Current Mood:  Realizing that I am not going to be able to change the university setting in China without first going home, regrouping, and rethinking the strategy.  Maybe I need to just create a high-end boarding school with a multi-cultural and multi-faceted curriculum.  Currently, trying to combine life skills, lawyering skills, and basic materials in my torts class.  Seems to be more successful this term.  Still a work in progress…

People need to be able to deal with their self esteem issues in a healthy manner.  Suing your plastic surgeons and a hospital does not help your psychological trauma.  Normally people do not go through the extremes of facial reconstruction to “feel better” about themselves.

Seriously, the guy already left you and you should be thankful that the prick is no longer around.  You have already given so much to the idiot by marrying and divorcing the guy so why give him more room in your head and in your wallet?

China netizens outraged over ‘fat face divorce’ case – http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-china-35770514

Current Mood:  When people ask me if I only had one child would I pray for a girl or a boy, most times, I honestly say a boy.  While boys have their own issues and challenges, the self esteem issues that women face are more significant than men.  Not sure what I would do if my daughter decided to reconstruct her face over an idiot.  Maybe cry?  Maybe wonder where I went wrong in raising a shallow daughter?  To me this is just as bad as raising an immoral child molester or bully.

I thought that the Durian Pizza was available everywhere as I have had these pizza’s in Shanghai, Guang Dong, and Beijing.  Did not realize that the Guang Dong Pizza Hut chain was testing the Durian Pizza.

It was okay and really did not smell bad or taste like anything in particular so I agree with the 4-4-2 reviews (good, bad, not sure).

China Real Time Tries Pizza Hut’s New Durian Pizza – http://mp.weixin.qq.com/s?__biz=MzA3OTgwOTczMQ==&mid=436615475&idx=3&sn=846013b31219ad4af934ab87d3d884e9&scene=5&srcid=0313KpKBQ48FoD7d5hl0qCkx#rd

It is really sad that in this day and age people are so concerned about their skin color versus what really counts which is their personality and intelligence.  What I find it interesting is that while both men and women are discriminated against, women are generally discriminated against more – see both articles.  Men in both articles talk about how while they have it hard, their female counterparts have it worse.

While these campaigns are nice in terms of raising awareness, if they do not actually change people’s minds then overall the whole campaign is a failure.  Most importantly, the campaign needs to change the mindset of the women involved.  If you do not buy the whitening creams and use the shaded umbrellas, society has no choice but to adapt to your natural skin color.

What I do not understand is when people complain about:

1. the fact that others treat them like crap because their skin is darker
2. so then they buy into others warped sense of self by buying whitening products
3. then they also help line other people’s pockets by buying products
4. to illustrate even more “how you are not as good as those who are white.

#unfairandlovely: A new social campaign celebrates dark skin – http://www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-india-35783348

Why don’t they make shoes for black ballet dancers? – http://www.bbc.com/news/magazine-35629323

Current Mood:  If you do not love yourself then nobody else can either.